What was I saying???

Today after I dropped Daniel off to school, I began the telephone calls that needed to be made.

The phone was ringing, I was sitting at my desk with the planner open and papers spewed all around me, and emails flying open on the computer. I kind of zoned out, and heard the person on the other end saying 'Hello? Hello?'. Me - "Oh sorry, hello" and then everything was gone. I couldn't remember who the heck I was calling. Crap, was it the orthopedic doctor, the ABR place (nope this person didn't have an accent!), insurance, or scheduling department for an EEG??
Nothing like feeling like a fool first thing in the morning!
Me- "Sorry its been a long day...what number did I just dial?"
Person on the other end- "It's only 9 a.m.....and it's already a long day!"
Me-"Welcome to my world!"

Turns out, I miss dialed and it wasn't anyone I needed to talk to. But she was awfully nice so I should have suspected something right off the bat!!! The people I generally have to talk to are not to receptive at any time of the day!

That is how my day seemed to continue on. I have so many things I have to get done and organized that I am so scatter brained its not fair!

Ever sit and wonder if you're losing your mind? I do. But then I think well if I'm really losing my mind, would I really be aware of it? If I could understand that things weren't processing correctly , then technically I'd be considered rational...so if you think you're going bonkers you really aren't because you're thinking about it right?? LOL.

OK so no medical terms here but I'm feeling a few cards short of a full deck. I can't get organized, I HATE NOT BEING ORGANIZED. I can't stand not knowing what is going on, where everything is, and what I should be doing.

I have all these plans for what I should be doing to keep the house going right and not messy, what I should be doing with Daniel. When Daniel is at school what I should be doing and then when I look back I think why wasn't I doing project B instead of what I had done and then I get all ticked off at myself. When I am not organized and feeling in control I get completely and totally bummed out and depressed.....and I feel like I'm losing my mind! I wish I knew how to be organized and keep things going smoothly. I really really wish!

Now ask my hubby and he thinks I'm the most anal person around, that I'm a neat freak, that I always have to be in control, that I need to take a "chill pill" (I so hate that term!) If he tells me to "relax" one more time....I'll drop kick him across the room.
Where the heck does all the time go and how the heck am I suppose to get all of this stuff done?
Can anyone help??? Why does it seem like I am the only person struggling with keeping it all together? I so want to be that "SuperMom" person that I hear about and strive to be.

Uugh anyways, life at my house.....what was I saying??

Oh yeah......18 days, 3 hours, 57 minutes and 12 seconds until we start ABR!!!!

Michigan 3 day Breast Cancer Walk

The Michigan 3 day Breast Cancer walk is completed! There were over 3000 walkers, 1500 crew (I believe) and many many blistered feet, sore knees, hips and backs. But all of that is forgotten about when you hear that 7.2 million dollars was raised for a wonderful cause.
It was a very emotional weekend. Within the first 10 words of the opening ceremony "We do this for our mother..."I was in tears. My mom passed away November 2007, so things are still fresh in that area.




Here are some photos from the opening ceremony

Below are some of Betty's Boobs! I don't know why they are smiling as it is very very early in the morning and they are going to walk 60 miles in 3 days!



Below is at the opening ceremony. These people are on the survivor circle stage. EMOTIONALLY!!!!


The following photos are AFTER walking for 3 days. People are still smiling and waving. Amazing the energy that is there.
Just a random photo to show some of the many walkers



A truly amazing event. I thought oooh I'll lose some weight and walk for a good cause all at the same time. WRONG! There are Pit Stops along the way where you get refills on water, go potty, get medical attention and get snacks. SNACKS!! and as you are walking there are people who just sit their chairs down and have bowls of candy and drinks for you to keep you going. I didn't lose any weight! NONE but that is ok. My brother Greg was the boss for Pit Stop 4. YEA for pit stop 4!!! It rocked!

Anyhow, I am glad it is over, and I am very proud of my family, they are awesome. I am very thankful to all those who donated to allow me to be able to walk, and for my hubby who pulled some much needed funds in from his fellow workers at the last stretch. Thank you.

There are more photos of the event but you'll have to look if you choose on the side bar for flick'r photos. I am not allowed to post the gross picture of blisters on here (viewer discretion advised!)

Oh weary feet!

We team "Betty's Boobs" is packed and ready to start the 3 day breast cancer walk for 2008.
We are packed but are we really ready??

I can say I am not. Tomorrow Lonnie took off work to take Daniel and Tori to schools, therapies, sports practices, varsity football games, volleyball tournaments, work, sleep overs...that his plan this weekend. Me and my sisters, sister-in-law & neice....well, lets see....oh yeah...

WE'LL BE WALKIN'
YES INDEED
WALKIN'
JUST YOU AND ME.....Walkin' and walkin' and walkin'

then after the first 20 miles we'll be crying I'm sure!!! And by the end of the first night I'm sure our feet will look something like this...

hope all is well with everyone out there!! Have a good weekend.

Lil' Ms. Tori #8

Last weekend while Daddy was at home taking care of Daniel with his worst ever sinus infection/puking/bubble booger blowing nose and cold, I got to have my butt fall asleep (yes it is possible) at Tori's Volleyball Tournament (which lasts for hours).

So here are some of my not so great sports shots. A photographer I am not! As you might notice (through the blur) my girl is the only blond hair blue eyed girl on the team...and isn't she a cutie too!?!

So while daddy suffered at home with an unhappy little boy, I suffered at the tournament with an unhappy girl whose team didn't go so great. Tori is very competitive and does not like to lose. (she gets this trait from her father). I on the other hand am not so competitive and while she is worrying about if she hit the ball ok, I am looking at her an saying to myself "God I wish I looked like that when I was her age!" Two totally different thought processes going on there! I'm more girlie like, Tori is a good mix...loves sports, excels in school (I love this part!) and she is beautiful to boot!

This weekend she will be playing in another Volleyball Tournament which I will miss because I am walking in the 3 day breast cancer walk (60 miles in 3 days). I'm not so sure I'll walk or whether one of my team mates will be dragging me behind them!!! SO if you're in Michigan or you happen to actually be walking also and you are a reader of this blog....if you see anyone from the team "Betty's Boobs"....come on by and say hi!!! I'd love to meet you!

Good Luck Tori!

Not worth the energy...IGNORANCE

We try very hard to make life "normal" for our son with disabilities, but it just isn't the same. Living in the "typical world" half the time with my other children helps me see that there is almost nothing there that makes the two worlds remotely similar. Not even comparable. Families of SNK (special need kids) can say they are normal and they try to be for the most part. But changing a diaper for a child that is of the typical age of not needing a diaper is not normal. Nor is using a feeding tube to get your child his nutrients. Or giving them medicines multiple times a day to stop seizures that aren't controllable.

People from the "typical world" that make stupid assed comments. This has been a topic that has hit many of the support groups that we belong too.

Just some things for example;
"Gee, I don't know if I could handle a kid with special needs"
Well sure you would. What the hell else are you going to do? You don't have a choice....its your child. Should we lock them in a room cause we can't handle it? Should we leave them in a corner and not help our own flesh and blood? If you answered Yes to the last two questions, please hit the X in the upper right corner of your screen, cause you're as a$$. :)

"Will he ever be normal?"
WTF?? Are you serious? What world did you grow up in to think this was an appropriate thing to say to someone?

"What is his prognosis? life span you know that kind of thing?"
This sometimes comes from people who don't even know the child. My response..goes something like this...1) does it really matter to you or are you just being a nosey MF'er?
2) don't worry about his life span...but if you continue to ask stupid questions I see that yours is getting shorter my the minute!

Or when people in the "typical world" make stupid comments of our situations like
"Maybe if you didn't buy all these "toys" and live within your means, it wouldn't be so hard."
Oh you are one funny person.Those "toys" are chairs, equipment and such to help the child. Or do you think we like these things all over our house looking like a hospital supply warehouse? DO YOU THINK we are out spending money on things we don't need? We are doing the essential things. Try going from two incomes to one because you are staying at home to ensure your child is getting taken care of. That he is so involved that you can't have both of you working because you are driving over 800 miles a month to and from therapies to HELP your child. AND if you were both working that you'd have to find daycare that would be able to take care of a special needs child and have trained caregivers for that child who are able to administer medications to him? Live within our means? Please....are you serious? If you think we're living high on the hog...THINK AGAIN!

There is a little boy of 4 yrs old that is always in the therapy waiting room when Daniel and I get there on Wednesday afternoon. And he use to watch me with Daniel from across the room, he has not graduated to making his way over to us and asking me a few questions which I politely answer. It is too bad that a little 4 yr old boy has more tack than many adults. This past week when I arrived "Austin" was sitting in the chair in the way back where I normally go to feed Daniel before therapy. I smiled and walked over there and he said "I was saving your spot for you and Daniel do no one took it" (there is no one else in there besides his mom!) so I proceed to thank him and sit down. The whole time I'm feeding Daniel he is asking me questions about Daniel and telling me about his past week. Cute little kid. He politely waiting until Daniel drank his bottle (yes he asked why D was drinking from a bottle and then said he wished he could drink from a bottle too cause sometimes he spills his cup!) and asked if Daniel could come play with him at the little table and read a book. I said "sure, I bet he'd love too (D was all smiles)"
And I can almost bet you that Austin will be sitting in the same seat next Wednesday waiting for Daniel to play with him, and not judging him.

Why can't all people be this way? Why can't people just accept that there are some differences between them and Daniel and move on?? Too bad its a little child that has more intelligence and sincerity than many ignorant adults. Check out the story from the maker of "Signing Time Videos"

People speak from ignorance of our situation, and frankly, I am very happy for them that they are blessed to live without the same worries.
They have their "typical" children, and for that i am happy.
But note this:
They miss out on allot of the beauty of life that we as SNP have, and for that I do feel sad for them. You will never experience what life is with a SNK. It is remarkable. It is something you will never understand. We are blessed more than you. From the outside it looks like we have horrible struggles, and you might feel sorry for us. Well don't. Cause you will never be able to look into my sons eyes, and see the love, the drive, the wonderfulness that is in him.

So don't feel sorry for our struggles, our situation....because we are getting something that you will never get to experience and know. There is a bond there between my son and I that you will never experience - and that bond...... it makes all the ignorant, stupid people disappear.

But were it not for our personal experience with disability, I suppose we would share that same ignorance. Because of that, it is hard for me to take their petty comments as anything but a lack of having walked in our shoes. I get angry at first but then I find it's just not worth the energy of getting upset, and I refuse to let some ignorant comments get me down.

So instead of getting into a war of words so to speak, we'll take that energy of ours that deals with disability.. and we will continue on our journey, and say People are ignorant and they may suck most of the time....but you are soooo missing out on our wonderful world, and for that, I feel sorry for you.

Award

Hey All- sorry we haven't posted in a while! I get an a roll and post often then seems like I get into a week from hell and can't manage to find the time to pee!

Here are the instructions for the following Brillante Weblog Premio award recipients:

1.Place the Logo on your blog
2.Link to the person who awarded you
3.You can nominate up to 5 blogs
4.Add their links to your blog
5.Leave a message in the comment section of their blog to notify the winners.

Ok so here it goes....I am a little late in doing this...

Step 1: The person who gave me the award is the mom of MM from over at "Till the Short Bus". This mom is the parent of another SNK who happens to have autism and a preemie. Neither of these subjects of which I know too much about, but unfortunately she also has to deal with many of the same subjects that I do as Daniel's mama. Her daughter also has CP.

Step 2: Holy Crow...I can nominate up to 5 eh??? Geeze Louise there are so many that i enjoy reading.

I think the one I can relate to alot is "Terribly Palsy". First because I think her son "Moo" is a lot like Daniel. Secondly, she is a total HOOT to read. I always end up giggling about something she writes...whether its one of her children's embarrassing moments, or her just explaining something that happened. I end up laughing, then calling hubby and telling him...You have to go read about Moo during lunch! Even though she also deals with some pretty crappy things, she handles them well and I will I could be more like her sometimes! Wished she lived in my neighborhood. I'll take the time here to add a quick thank you to Moo's mama for giving me so much information of ABR. Moo is one of the in progress success stories that are floating around. She has given me some very valuable information. Thank you.

Next...now we relate ALOT to this little boy named Evan. He has the exact same diagnosis that Daniel has. BPP & CP (and I'm sure they both like PB & J's too!) Ever get tired of trying to figure out what all the letters mean?? Evan is a year older than Daniel, but boy or boy are they they same in every other way! Usually if Daniel is going through something, Evan has gone through it before or will be at the same time! It is nice to have someone that knows what you're talking about when it comes to the BPP (and the PB& J too!)

Now we have Erin from over at "The Smallest Smykay" Fletcher was/is a micropreemie and he also has CP. Many of the kids with CP that we know through our yahoo support group were preemies. I think Daniel is one of the few (if not the only one) who was NOT a preemie. Anyhow, we will have the pleasure of actually meeting Fletcher and his mom and dad when we go to Montreal in October to start ABR. You'll have to watch her blog in the coming months to see how well Fletcher does with ABR.

Another blog I like to read is "bird on the street". Charlie is another little boy who will also be starting ABR in October. I just recently found Bird's blog, but I am positive that I will be following up quite frequently to find out how her ABR is going with Charlie. Check him out he is a real cutie pie!

"Life with Ben" This blog I found a while ago, laughed when I first read it because Oh Ben's mom seems like she is JUST LIKE ME!

Then I'd like to say "Till the short bus" an award AGAIN!! I find it very theraputic to read blogs of other SNP because I find that I am NOT the only one who feels the things that I feel. It is safe to say, I wish there wasn't a need for SN Parents, but I also can say it is comforting knowing I am not alone.

Crap this post has taken me about 10 days to actually complete. We've had a hectic time. Daniel was very very sick(welcome to public schools!). Almost where I thought he was going to go into the hospital. Now I have it, 4 days before I am walking 60 miles for the 3 day breast cancer walk! I'm still trying to raise about $300 to be able to walk! Thank you! I can tell you this really quick before Daniel wakes up or I pass out....

HE LOVES SCHOOL!!! I am so happy for him. Not so for me...I miss him. But it is so very cute. I ask him if he has a girlfriend named Amber and he gets the biggest grin! Of course I think Amber has a run for her money as Daniel also loves Ms. Mills (his teacher!)

We are going to be going to Montreal in approximately 26 days. Hoping everyone will be feeling so much more better by then. I can't image what 12 hours in a car is going to be like. I can't stand sitting still for an 1 let alone 12! And I'm sure I'll drive Lonnie nuts with my driving instructions (cause I think he stinks at driving and he thinks he is a "veteran driver" as he says!)

Watch the blog for Tori's volleyball tournament photos. Tori is my sports fanatic of a daughter...very competitive...so unlike her mama!!! LOL

Disheartening...

If one ever wonders what a parent of a special needs child does with their time. Oh if one ever dares to question WHY we aren't doing something that was forgotten, like cleaning the house...

It could be that we are on the phone 40% of the day. No not chit chatting it up with our friends, mostly because many of us SNP (special needs parents) probably don't have time to make friends, let alone maintain friendships. Hell its hard enough for us to keep our families together. Anyways...40% on the phone calling insurance companies to figure out why something is not being covered when it was covered a month ago (and you've had no changes in your policy), or you are asking (demanding) an explanation as to why your handicapped 3 yo. child is being denied physical therapy. WTF? Then of course no phone call is ever resolved with just one conversation. Then you have to see how something was coded, but GOD FORBID that the insurance company will tell you how it was coded on the paperwork they received (although it is sitting in front of them). So then on the phone yet again calling the provider to find out exactly how it was coded and oh by the way what the hell does that code mean? So after days and hours on the phone....there is an apology of "Oh, your son didn't receive this benefit for a month, or even a few days I am so sorry ..." Hell no. And whats sick it all comes down to a frickin' code that should have been something like 340.1 and oh crap they sent in 340.2. again WTF?!?!?

So what we do most of the time is fight, argue, cry and sit in defeat, waiting and praying that someone will have a heart.

The rest of our time, we are trying to fit in everything that needs to be done with our child so that he can have some quality of life. We can't skip these exercises that need to be done, those leg stretches, the arm stretching, the tummy time. If you leave off the leg stretches/ankle stretches in a day, you face your child getting the shortened hamstrings and other muscles which then can result in surgery that will be needed down the line, where they are in casts from their hips to their toes. Try carrying someone like that! Our schedules of SNP aren't easy. Many of you think, of she doesn't work she just stays at home with her child. God I wish that is what I did......and believe me we are hardly home....and if we are, its because some a$$hole person thinks a child of 3 yrs old that can't walk, sit by himself, roll over, crawl doesn't need frickin therapy. Again I say WTF?

Then (thank god we are past this part for now) your child starts having infantile spasms again... and your form of treatment (which must be done immediate as they spasms can harm the child greatly to where they can regress to infant state and you may never get them back to where they are again) is ACTH. If you remember back a little over a year ago, Daniel had to be given shots daily for 6 weeks of a drug that has possible horrible side effects, but can also cure your child of the spasms. Double edged sword. At the exact time Daniel started this treatment, the price of ACTH went from approximately $2000 a vial to over $25,000 (no there is no typo there!) Generally if you're lucky, you can get away with only needing 4-5 vials...so what is a mere $125,000. Unreal isn't it? and you have to FIGHT to get it. Check out what Trevors mom has to do.

And this is why it is disheartening......what happened to the times when people use to care about each other? When it wasn't ever man for himself? What happened to helping out someone who wasn't quite as well off as you? What happened to the human race?
For the good of mankind?

I wish someone who open their eyes sometime and look at our children....do you think for one minute that they asked to be like this? That we as their parents WANT them to have to suffer? That we want to see the tears in their eyes because they CAN'T do what ever other child is doing? Stop for a minute out of your busy life and watch a child with special needs...climb inside their heads for a little bit....what are they thinking?

"Why can't I do that"
"Why don't people treat me nicely"
"Why are they staring at me and/or laughing?"
"Why are kids mean to me?"
"I want to run, I want to play without someone having to move my hands for me..."

I watched a video of a young teen who is none verbal and has CP, uses an augmentative device to communicate, and it was so very very sad...because the last words were....
"I want to be accepted, and loved, I didn't do anything wrong, this is just how I am, I am not a monster....
please ."

How sad and disheartening is that? Life is just disheartening....

YES!!!!!

Today, we had no tears at school!!! Wahooooooo!!!!

Daniel gets to wear a crown for being such a good boy today!
(this is an example of the crown we are making from this post)

Advanced Bio-Mechanical Rehabilitation (ABR)

We have been talking about alternative therapies for the past couple of months. Well we have decided as I have probably said before that we are going to go to Montreal in October for a week. This will include the evaluation by Mr. Leonid Blyum.
There is no turning back, the deposit has been sent in.....if we don't go we lose a lot of money because it is non-refundable.

I am very very excited about this but extremely nervous too. I think I pretty much know the stuff about Daniel, but I always get a knot in my stomach. What if he looks at Daniel and says he can't be helped? UGH! I don't think he will, but there is always the chance. ANOTHER ONE OF MY FLAWS....I am told I always think the worst! But really what it is is I like to prepare myself for the "what if's". I always worry about things that haven't' happened yet. I suffer from the "what if" syndrome!

Some other parents that we know in the cyber world are also going to be attending at the same time. I am also excited to meet them and the children that I feel we already know! The ones that I know are going for sure are located at the following blogs. (if you're not listed and you're going please let me know and I would love to add you to the blogroll)

Erin & Fletcher
Marcela & Nathan
Jennifer & Tyse (care page name: Tyse)
Katy & Charlie
Susan & Noah
Jessica & Paxson
Eugenia & Matthew

Successfully doing ABR and seeing great results: Jacqui & Moo
She has helped me so much with answering all my questions! Thanks a ton Jacqui!

I am sure come the end of October we will all be posting about how ABR is going and what are likes and dislikes are. And of course give it a little while and I am sure we will be posting of our success in helping our children get stronger.

From the ABR site, it states:

ABR biomechanical reconstruction of the musculoskeletal system follows the path of normal motor development - starting from the neck and trunk and later descending to the periphery (arms and legs).

ABR provides planned progress of the musculoskeletal structure and function through predictable stages. Results are predicted in numbers of hours of exercises done and changes in the alignment, mobility, size, tone and strength of the child's body – specifically in the chest, abdomen and the pelvis.

These are the exact areas that Daniel needs help in. His trunk is his main issue. When he had the infantile spasms when he was younger he lost his ability to hold his head up. Since then with many many hours of PT, he is now able to hold his head up. There is still weakness, and his neck tires easily but it is notable better than it was. This will be one of the first areas that we work on and I can't wait to see results. His trunk...gosh once his trunk gets stronger I just feel it, everything will click together. It will be like someone flipped a switch and he'll be able to walk. Yes I am sure he will always need a walker of some sort, posture, or walking canes...whatever it may be. He will be able to explore so much more. He will have so many more opportunities. I cannot wait. And if he isn't able to walk ever...at least it will strengthen his trunk and his arms will be able to work better, he will be able to sit up longer, which will give him another world of opportunities.

Needless to say, we are very excited about the whole adventure. We are so thankful that we are given the chance to get Daniel involved in this. Words cannot express......

A So Non-Eventful Weekend

Talk about a lazy do nothing weekend. I know most people love this type of weekend, I on the other hand dislike them. I always think "OK, lets just relax this weekend", then the guilt sets in.
I and everyone around me must be doing something at all points in time. This is ONE of my many flaws (according to people close to me!)

We did pick up bottles from our mini bottle drive that we had for the 3 day breast cancer walk.
The date for the walk is quickly approaching (September 27 - 29) and I still haven't been able to raise the $2200.00 that I need to raise to actually be able to walk. I am still hoping that I am able to raise the money so I can walk with my sisters in honor of my mom who passed away this past November from fighting breast cancer for 20+ years. She was one hell of a fighter....and I know where Daniel got his drive from. Neither of them go down without a fight. She fought long and hard, and unfortunately lost in the end. But not until she was really ready did she say OK...enough is enough, and she let go to join my dad again. Anyways-- I am hoping to be able to join my sisters, walk, raise money for a wonderful cause, and bond with my sisters (or argue...one or the other!)
If you'd like to donate, or know someone you think might - please follow this link and select my name (or someone else on my team if you so desire!:? )
http://08.the3day.org/goto/bettys

Now here is the part that I tend to always feel guilty for - we watched a movie. My sister has been trying to get to me to watch her favorite movie and I have put it off for months! So we finally watched it. Mr. Hollands Opus Good movie! I cried a little but was able to hide it! :) So glad my sister continued to ask me if I'd watched it yet!

The same sister above also recruited me this weekend into helping her make "crowns". Yes you heard me, we have been cutting and sewing by hand 10 little felt crowns. My nephew (her son) is a teacher our of state, and he requested that she make them for each of his students. He teaches at a Waldorf school, and his class is small...each student will wear a crown during writing time to make them sit up tall and help them with correct posture. He's very creative with ideas eh?!?! When we get all done I'll post a photo on here, they are actually very cute. Daniel loves walking around in his pony walker with one on!! They would be awesome for so many different things...party hats, special day crowns, dress up, Halloween....Oh I could go on and on!

How its Sunday night, and I am sitting here thinking of all the things I SHOULD have done this weekend and didn't do. Like get all of Daniel's clothes set out for the week for preschool (UUUGH PRESCHOOL!) cook dinners for the week. Clean the house more, including doing laundry. Should have weeded also! Heck the list is so long....I could type it up and I wouldn't be done for another hour!

Oh yeah, and I cleaned out the refrigerator!~ How's that for a fun weekend!
NOT!

To the School Gods...

What would it be called to be really really excited to do something, to go somewhere and then when you get there......FORGET it you want to go home, you cry and you flip out? We will call it "Daniel". Daniel is very very excited to go to school, the ride there is fun, he holds his backpack and tries to unzip it to get to the yellow folder that he knows is inside. He is excited when I say its time for school and we are gathering everything up. Then we get there and we are waiting outside the door, the excitement is still there, until the door opens and he starts getting pushed in his chair down the hallway... I can count...1, 2, 3 WHAM the tears start flowing! It is killing me. I can't stand that he is scared. Or I assume he is scared. Daniel is non verbal so all I can do is read his body language. The teacher, therapist and para pro's all say that he is fine once he gets in the class room and starts playing with the other kids and toys. I just feel so guilty leaving him there. I know this is standard for kids to be upset, but because he has "special needs" I feel 100 times more guilty! Everyone at the school is very nice and tell me that its normal and he just needs to get use to the transition. UUUUGH, the guilt of leaving him there crying, and I feel so sorry for the people there. I just hope that they will give him time and not judge him and think he is a problem child. He is really a lovable little guy, he is just scared. Actually he is really awesome and all smiles when he gets use to everything. Please don't judge him based on the first few days. Don't carry a grudge and say to yourself "oh no here comes Daniel" because he is an amazing child.

To the school gods above, I am on my knees....please please please I am praying, when the school doors open today, don't let Daniel be crying! I beg of ye!

School days.........boo hoo hoo

This is what happens to your 3 yr old when you send him to preschool for the first time. Before you pull out of the parking lot, he's asleep! Yesterday went really well from the "communication folder" that comes home every day. I will tell you that when I was waiting outside for the teacher to bring him out, I heard the distinct bellow of Daniel crying. First thought was "Oh $hit!". Then the guilt was there full force. He was crying and I didn't know why, and I wasn't there to help him. The door opens and Ms. Mills must have seen a look on my face because the first thing she said was "Its not as bad as you think!" Apparently he didn't cry the whole time yesterday until it came to circle time and singing the "Goodbye song". For unknown reasons, Daniel has never liked the song and has always gotten the boo boo lip. Ask his teacher/therapists from last year!! So out of the building comes a sobbing Daniel with the kind of cry that makes you gasp for breath!

I'm talking to myself in the car on the way home, "it's ok, its just the first day, everyone is getting use to each other."

But when Lonnie came home and asked Daniel how school went and what he did, they went through his folder, and Lonnie talked with Daniel about it. He was all grins, he was proud of himself, it was unmistakable. He truly loved it.

So this morning, I had to take Daniel up after having slept hard the whole night. I whispered 'Daniel, time to wake up and get ready for school". He opened his eyes and gave me a big smile! Good sign! So we get all ready and get him in the car. He loves his backpack (Thank you Ms. Linda). He is learning to pull the zipper. He is definitely excited about school!

Here we are waiting outside for the teacher to come pick Daniel up at the door. He is sick of me taking his picture and won't look at the camera! And god forbid I touch that backpack....the growl that erupts from him is scary!
Apparently, today wasn't as happy as yesterday. He cried some today not because I wasn't there. He cried because he didn't want to sit in his chair, he wanted to get up and go. Every time they went to put him back into his chair....cried. He so wants to be independent. Again he was very proud to go through his folder with mom and dad! BUT - again circle time and the goodbye song didn't go over well. He doesn't like when people sing together. If you sing by yourself he is ok with it, but as a group.......the tears come. Ask all you want, I have no clue why! And as you can see below, he is still a good boy at therapy that is right after school!

The Beginning of...."THE BIG BOY"

Daniel went off to his first day of preschool.....no tears (from Daniel at least!).
He is such a big boy.


This was a picture from yesterday, trying out his back pack and before he got his spiffy new haircut!