Thursday, September 4, 2008

To the School Gods...

What would it be called to be really really excited to do something, to go somewhere and then when you get there......FORGET it you want to go home, you cry and you flip out? We will call it "Daniel". Daniel is very very excited to go to school, the ride there is fun, he holds his backpack and tries to unzip it to get to the yellow folder that he knows is inside. He is excited when I say its time for school and we are gathering everything up. Then we get there and we are waiting outside the door, the excitement is still there, until the door opens and he starts getting pushed in his chair down the hallway... I can count...1, 2, 3 WHAM the tears start flowing! It is killing me. I can't stand that he is scared. Or I assume he is scared. Daniel is non verbal so all I can do is read his body language. The teacher, therapist and para pro's all say that he is fine once he gets in the class room and starts playing with the other kids and toys. I just feel so guilty leaving him there. I know this is standard for kids to be upset, but because he has "special needs" I feel 100 times more guilty! Everyone at the school is very nice and tell me that its normal and he just needs to get use to the transition. UUUUGH, the guilt of leaving him there crying, and I feel so sorry for the people there. I just hope that they will give him time and not judge him and think he is a problem child. He is really a lovable little guy, he is just scared. Actually he is really awesome and all smiles when he gets use to everything. Please don't judge him based on the first few days. Don't carry a grudge and say to yourself "oh no here comes Daniel" because he is an amazing child.

To the school gods above, I am on my knees....please please please I am praying, when the school doors open today, don't let Daniel be crying! I beg of ye!


laila said...

Huge Huges hun!!!I can only imagine how hard it is for you both on those first few weeks of school- my typical 5 year old is starting at a new school and now goes full day...she has been crying for the past week and its so hard watching her so scared! Teachers know it always takes at least a month for them to adjust, XOXOOO

Jacqui said...

Okay, so i've only had boys so this is all I know. Number 1 used to cry when I would pick him up from kindy. Yep, all the other kids would eagerly go home with their parents and my son would tell me that it wasn't time to go home and could I come back later when it was like - dark.

Number 2 - Master C - hit the ripe old age of 3 and everything changed. The kid that would go to anyone would scream each time that we dropped him off. This went on for . . . two years. He only now goes to school okay so long as we have done the requisite hugs, cuddles and kisses at least fifty times.

Number 3 - Moo was fine until Master C left kindy to go to big kid school (at the beginning of this year). Until then, he would happily go to kindy. When Master C left, he worked out that if he didn't put on a show, then he was letting the family team down. In his powerchair, he cries and tries to follow us as we back cautiously out the gates. Not being able to put his arms out to grab us, he does the next best thing which is - run over us. This happens every morning. It is exhausting.

Number 4 walks into kindy, doesn't look back and we don't even get a good bye. But as soon as we get there in the arvo, he climbs up my leg and holds on like he is never going to let go.

I hope that this is a momentary thing for Daniel. If it isn't, at least you know that your not alone.