Daniel is doing drivers training, to do his drivers training for his wheelchair we must go into the hallways and lobby of his therapy building among the "normal" population. Normally Daniel will get from passer-byers, a smile, or "wow you're doing so good", or "Slow down speedy!" or better yet from a little "typical boy" holding his dads hand, "I want one of those!". So as you can see generally, they are good comments.
Well yesterday, we are on the short journey down the hall to the lobby and some random older lady says out of no where in a rather crappy tone..."WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?". Well Daniel's therapist looks at me, for what I thought was for me to explain, so I simply said "He has CP, so he can't walk". She proceeds to say "Oh we got one of those in our family too, and she is an ornery little 'you-know-what'...just grunts and points cause she doesn't try to talk". At this point I just ignore her and move on. When we are away from her Daniel's therapists shakes her head and says I don't know what is wrong with people. I would NEVER think to say to someone WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.
Well I agree with her wholeheartedly, and the woman got the best of me on that day because all I could think about last night as I laid in bed, I envisioned myself doing this...
Option One:
"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?"
"Nothing "happened" to him, what the hell HAPPENED TO YOU!?!"
Option Two:
"WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?"
"He was blessed and got this wonderful ability to attract all the "a$$holes" to come up and ask idiotic questions so we know for future reference what a dipsh*t you are."
Option Three:
To let the woman ask her stupid question in her stupid holier than thou attitude, but then to follow her into the waiting room that was full, let her sit down. Then walk in behind her and say out loud for all to hear....
I say: "Can I ask you a question?"
she nods
I say: "What was possibly going through your mind at the time you would ask a question like "What happened to him" in front of a little boy who is in a wheelchair? Does that show any tack? Does that show any manners? First, if something had "happened" to a child to make him have to use a wheelchair, don't you think it would have been something traumatic, that perhaps would UPSET the parent or the CHILD to have some stranger ask so harshly? The child who understands everything you are saying? Are you a moronic a$$?. Might I suggest in the future if curiousity gets the better of you, that you first check yourself, and decide if it is really a good decision or time to ask the question. Second, take the disgusted look off your face. Third: whatever words you were going to use to ask the question.....find different ones because the ones you used were inconsiderate, and rude. Fourth: Ask the question, and be ready because next time, I don't think you're goign to find a parent off guard like you did me...........and you are going to hear a mouthful."
I like to imagine what I would say.....and one day, I will.
13 comments:
Thats my baby..
so proud of you.
-b
go baby go! your great just because your you daniel!
love you buddy- your the best :)
-c
Arrgghhh!
My responce to an arrogant old person...
"What the hell is wrong with you? You got a little ugly on your face, how did that happen?"
-B
People are so dumb they just blurt out what they are thinking instead of thinking first. I never quite respond how I really want to it always catches me off guard. Sorry you are feeling down about things, I go through that about 3-4 times a year when I dwell on all the stuff or usually it is after shoe shopping or spending time with a typical child who is just talking up a storm. Daniel looks good in the walker. He is doing great.
Melanie, I like all the options and I am going to print them out and put them in my handbag for future use! GEEE#EEEEEEZZZZZ@@#$$!
I think verbally ripping someone's head off in that situation is the best you can do for them, you and your kid. Though of course, way easier said than done.
I am sorry that happened to you. People are so primally cruel when it comes right down to it sometimes.
On another note I am glad Daniel is kicking butt in his new chair and LOVE the new look to the blog.
Hang in there. You are not alone and you are great!
Some people are just unbelievable!!
Melanie--
I read a story about a family with six autistic kids. They dread going into a restaurant because invariably one fo the little ones will get loose and run grab a drink from another patron **and take a drink from the straw.** The person will look really ticked until they notice the t-shirt the child is wearing: I'm autistic. What's your excuse? (With a big ol' smiley face above.)
Let's get some made. Maybe a hundred. We could sell 'em and make a huge profit and laugh our hineys off in the process. Right? ;o)
Q and I were just looking at the pic of Daniel in his nifty walker. (Go, Daniel!) Q was playing peek-a-boo with Daniel -- holding his arm up to hide him and saying "hi" when he dropped it down. Apparently I've been typing long enough now because the boy wants more. He keeps hiding and saying hi.
(BTW, any of your options sound find to me. Deliver them with a flamethrower so she gets the point. Otherwise she might actually miss it.)
Hugs to you all.
:o)
TOO funny!
I once told a mean old lady (who happened to be a cashier) that I hoped she had to work til' the day she died.
You know...I never did feel guilty about it either. Altho...my kids weren't with me...and my hubby was only mortified later when I relayed the story to him!
...danielle
Okay, I vote for option one though they were all good! We get that all the time too. Or little little kids will say "Mommy look at the baby!" To which my overly sensitive nine year old son (a little over protective of his big sis) with say "HEY, she IS NOT a baby you baby!" And then I have to apologize and argh!!! Grocery shopping is just full of little dramatic episodes! You did a fine job and honestly, set a good example for the rest of us.
Your baby is so absolutely adorable.
That woman is clearly missing some important parts in her brain. I'd rather be in a wheelchair than be an ass.
Stupid people really bother me. You were right to keep those responses in your head later, because there's just no educating some people. And empathy? Fugheddaboutit.
Go Daniel! What a great picture :)
i've decided that I am going to get some t-shirts printed for Moo - one that says "I'm spiderman" and another that says "I'm just in it for the parking". I also want one that says "equal not special" but seeing as though I am so serious about the message, it might be a form of child mis-use. For Master C, I'm going to get one printed saying "Generation Why?"
Post a Comment