IEP from Hell..........NOT!!

This was not our first IEP ever, Daniel had them when he attended Early Intervention (with a wonderful group Ms. Kim, Ms. Val, Ms. Terri, Ms. Amy, Ms. Donna) this past year. Well now he's almost the Big 3. When you are 3 yrs old you are no longer in early intervention but you must move on to bigger and hopefully better things......PRESCHOOL! If you've been following this little journey of ours you will know that I was not completely comfortable with this. Sending my child to preschool for special needs children is very, very difficult. At least for me! Every time I think about it I get this quivering in my chin and I can feel myself getting warm and tears start to well up in my eyes.

So today we had our first IEP for preschool. This was when all of the people from his EI in one school district (the city we live in), all the people who will work with Daniel from his new school district (the city that has the POHI preschool), myself, dad (Lonnie) and Daniel. Its a bit intimating at first to walk into a room with 10 people. Half of them know your child already and they are saying what they want for Daniel and what he has done, and the other half were trying to figure out how to best get Daniel everything he needs to fully succeed. I will tell you, walking into this I said to Lonnie. We are NOT signing that IEP until I can take it home and review it and make sure it says what I want and blah blah blah....

But that is not what happened. I SIGNED IT!! I was stressing BIG TIME. I heard every ones horror stories, and how you have to fight this and fight that to get this and so on. Well I have to let you in on a little secret....it wasn't like that with ours (at least this time). I was so psyched up before we went to the IEP meeting, I was reading all this stuff on the Internet, the laws and what I needed to say to get what I wanted, I had notes....I was prepared. And it turns out I didn't need any of it!

Everything I wanted to make sure was on there.....was already on there I didn't have to ask. They asked what equipment we have, where we were on a device for speech, can he do this, OK we'll work on this, and that. If you need this equipment we can get it on loan through the district. We got the amount of time I was hoping for (plus they said it would probably be more than that). Everyone was very nice. I got the warm fuzzies that are a requirement for meeting Daniel's needs. And I SIGNED it. I'm OK with it.

I did warn them that if they see a person sitting in the car outside the school Monday through Friday during the hours that Daniel is in school, that it was OK. It wasn't a stalker, or anything it would probably just be me, sitting in my car weeping uncontrollably. I know he will be in good hands, I trust that these people are good people and they will care for Daniel. I will be crying because this little person that I have worked so hard (harder that I would have imagined) to protect is now not within my sight...I can't watch and monitor and speak up for him. I am not there, and please please please God, don't let him think that I am gone, don't let him get scared and think I left him. Don't let him feel alone, or sad. (Aw crap! here I am crying.....I just can't fathom leaving him with someone other than family, its just never happened before) I don't ever want my child to feel he is alone. I don't ever want my child to feel rejected or hurt by another person or child's comments or looks.

I even told the new group---put that big sticker on Daniel's folder, that I am a high maintenance mom, that I'm a pain in the ass, that I am overprotective, and that by all means......YOU WILL take care of my child in the best possible way or you will have the wrath of Mom on your ass! and I meant it!!

So in a couple of months, watch the blog, because I am sure we'll be trying to deal and cope with the fact that I have no one at home for 3 hours a day to take care of. UGH. I hope when its all said and done and school will start, Daniel will flourish and be a social butterfly and absolutely love being with a group of children who he can play with (instead of being stuck with mom). And that I will love this group of people as much as I have loved the group of people that have worked with him this past year. I just hope they love Daniel in return (you can hate me but don't hate my son!)

Through the whole 2 hour meeting Daniel sat and played with his cars and trucks. He's such a good boy, I was very proud of him. We were wrapping up the meeting and it was silent as we were reviewing the papers and all of a sudden I hear this LOUD rumbling, slow pht pht pht noise that lasted anywhere between 15-20 seconds (doesn't sound like a long time but it was!) and I quickly turn my and look at Lonnie who is holding Daniel. I was just so shocked, I just looked at Lonnie like OMG I can't believe you just FARTED! You are an absolute pig! Lonnie's face looked slightly embarrassed, but then I quickly glanced at cute as can be Daniel and he had this look of satisfaction. He just looked around at everyone like....."Oops, was that me?!" At the same time Lonnie was looking at me saying "It wasn't me!" Everyone in the room started laughing, including Daniel!) Then to make it even more embarrassing Lonnie says "usually I'd take credit for something like that but ...... that was pretty good, he had some longevity to that one!" Of course, I wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

Well there you have it.......That's Daniel!!! He obviously felt comfortable with them too, and he was just letting us know! Sheesh!

An emotional day for Mom....

Emotional Roller coaster

One minute we're up!!

The next we're down!!

Up!

Down!

UP: Today Daniel had his first EI (Early Intervention)at home session for the school year. I cannot tell you how nice it was to have a good experience. This year there is a new teacher (Mrs. Kim) who used to be the teacher for EI a few years back but left to be an at home mom with her kids. Well she is back and I am very glad. She seems very nice. Another change this year is that when they come for the home visit it is not just the teacher but it is also one of the therapist. Today's experience with the visit and using our equipment at home has me thinking that this year is going to be a very good experience with the school system.

DOWN: My mother, the kids grandmother, has been fighting cancer for 20+ years. This past December we were told that it was back. She has been very very ill lately, and we have been having a nurse come to stay the days with her and one of her children (myself and my brothers and sisters) have been staying the nights with her. Today we got a call that there is a bed available for her in a Hospice home (the UP: she will be getting the correct medical treatment by TRAINED people, and she will be kept comfortable. the DOWN: the realization that my mom probably won't be coming home again, and that the home she has had for the past 25+ years, is not going to be filled with her home cooking, her knitting). It is a very very sad thing to have to go through. And yes I understand it is part of life, and that many others have gone before. But what you seem to not understand is.......this is MY mom, this is not fair, and no one should be meant to suffer this way, and to lose their sense of security. We won't get started on this but I was brought up Catholic and I do believe there is a God, but what I have a hard time understanding is why he has to make someone like my mother (or anyone for that matter, that is a good person) suffer. Again I am not opening this can of worms......because I am very thankful to God for helping Daniel along the way......but again, why is it that the good ones have to fight, struggle and suffer?

UP: Daniel is doing so great in all of his therapies, and we have been very lucky in having good therapist along the way. I hear horror stories from other parents who say that their therapists don't interact well with their kids, or that they just seem to be there for the pay. We have been lucky, Daniel's therapist, while I am sure that they are there for the money too, but they truly love Daniel. Unfortunately we had to end one of our sessions this week, for a few reasons.
Here's the DOWN: Daniel had two different Speech Therapist. One working on feeding issues, the other working on Augmentative Speech. According to Insurances, you can only have ONE type therapist. So for now, I felt that getting Daniel the communication is the most important. Now mind you Daniel has been seeing Ms. Anna, (his feeding therapist) for about a year, and she has done an AWESOME job. so there is the second part of the DOWN: We had to stop feeding therapy so we won't be seeing Ms. Anna anymore. (Unless of course I can figure out a way to swing it!)
Another reason we had to lighten the load of therapies if truth must be know....I need to spend some more time with my mother before it is too late. I know its silly and you think big deal therapy was only 2 hours a week. Well those two hours, are going to be spend driving to, or talking on the phone, or just plain sitting with my mom. I need those two hours for a while. And then maybe we can get back to that. Very selfish perhaps on my part, but Daniel will also get the benefit of spending more time with his grandmother, that I hope and pray he will be able to remember when he gets older.