Tuesday, October 30, 2007

An emotional day for Mom....

Emotional Roller coaster

One minute we're up!!

The next we're down!!



UP: Today Daniel had his first EI (Early Intervention)at home session for the school year. I cannot tell you how nice it was to have a good experience. This year there is a new teacher (Mrs. Kim) who used to be the teacher for EI a few years back but left to be an at home mom with her kids. Well she is back and I am very glad. She seems very nice. Another change this year is that when they come for the home visit it is not just the teacher but it is also one of the therapist. Today's experience with the visit and using our equipment at home has me thinking that this year is going to be a very good experience with the school system.

DOWN: My mother, the kids grandmother, has been fighting cancer for 20+ years. This past December we were told that it was back. She has been very very ill lately, and we have been having a nurse come to stay the days with her and one of her children (myself and my brothers and sisters) have been staying the nights with her. Today we got a call that there is a bed available for her in a Hospice home (the UP: she will be getting the correct medical treatment by TRAINED people, and she will be kept comfortable. the DOWN: the realization that my mom probably won't be coming home again, and that the home she has had for the past 25+ years, is not going to be filled with her home cooking, her knitting). It is a very very sad thing to have to go through. And yes I understand it is part of life, and that many others have gone before. But what you seem to not understand is.......this is MY mom, this is not fair, and no one should be meant to suffer this way, and to lose their sense of security. We won't get started on this but I was brought up Catholic and I do believe there is a God, but what I have a hard time understanding is why he has to make someone like my mother (or anyone for that matter, that is a good person) suffer. Again I am not opening this can of worms......because I am very thankful to God for helping Daniel along the way......but again, why is it that the good ones have to fight, struggle and suffer?

UP: Daniel is doing so great in all of his therapies, and we have been very lucky in having good therapist along the way. I hear horror stories from other parents who say that their therapists don't interact well with their kids, or that they just seem to be there for the pay. We have been lucky, Daniel's therapist, while I am sure that they are there for the money too, but they truly love Daniel. Unfortunately we had to end one of our sessions this week, for a few reasons.
Here's the DOWN: Daniel had two different Speech Therapist. One working on feeding issues, the other working on Augmentative Speech. According to Insurances, you can only have ONE type therapist. So for now, I felt that getting Daniel the communication is the most important. Now mind you Daniel has been seeing Ms. Anna, (his feeding therapist) for about a year, and she has done an AWESOME job. so there is the second part of the DOWN: We had to stop feeding therapy so we won't be seeing Ms. Anna anymore. (Unless of course I can figure out a way to swing it!)
Another reason we had to lighten the load of therapies if truth must be know....I need to spend some more time with my mother before it is too late. I know its silly and you think big deal therapy was only 2 hours a week. Well those two hours, are going to be spend driving to, or talking on the phone, or just plain sitting with my mom. I need those two hours for a while. And then maybe we can get back to that. Very selfish perhaps on my part, but Daniel will also get the benefit of spending more time with his grandmother, that I hope and pray he will be able to remember when he gets older.


C said...

Awww, Melanie. I'm so sorry about your mom. I'm sure it's just about knocked you flat. I wish we were closer, geographically. I'd come get you and we could go for a walk, get some Starbucks, or something.

I hate that stinking rollercoaster. Up, down, up, down. Geez. Some days, I'd like to take a chainsaw to it and knock it flat once and for all. Just thinking about it makes me feel better.

I'll be thinking about you all. Hugs, prayers, and blessings,

Melissa, Josh, Owen and Nathan said...
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Melissa, Josh, Owen and Nathan said...

Okay so I made you cry and now you've made me cry!

Firstly, yay Daniel for doing so well at therapy!! I just love Nathan's therapists too! You know they are good when their eyes light up when they see your child. It is so comforting to know that they really care!

Secondly, I am so sorry about your mom. I experienced a similar story with my grandmother 6 years ago this coming March. She fought cancer for 20+ years as well. It started in the breast, then the lungs, then finally the bones. It was horrible to watch. My family did the same thing...making sure she was never alone. It was so difficult to sit by and see her suffer but I am so glad you are taking the time to be there every minute you can and for taking Daniel with you. These last visits are precious and you are not selfish at all for wanting more time...even if it is just 2 hours.

Keeping your family in my thoughts.

Nelba said...

Sorry about your mom, Melanie. Glad that Daniel is doing well, though.

You know, this therapy thing is a marathon, not a race. So, don't feel bad for taking time out to focus on something or someone else. Also I'm sure you'll be able to motivate for both later, should Daniel still need both.