It must have been fate.
I haven't been able to get around to read my favorite blogs lately, and today Fate must have intervened.
I have been very melancholy lately. Couldn't put my finger on it exactly, but I had an idea what it was. Then I read Ellen's post .
She just happens to nail it.
And please when I am posting this do NOT think that I do not love my family, my son, husband or the girls. Because I do with everything in me, but where is my little house with the picket fence or the pretty yard, my life of grandeur?
Where is the not so stressed people we were before? Why does EVERYTHING have to be a fight? I want the relationship where there is more than the conversations that Ellen talks about. Again she nailed it, I would have thought that she was eavesdropping on us though a whole week!
She is lucky, they plan date nights and stuff. We unfortunately don't, its just not as easy for us. Daniel goes to bed and we tend to both go our own ways to get the stuff done that we need to get done. The stuff that is easier to do without a little one at your feet (special needs or not).
But I have been thinking about posting something similar for a while but didn't know how to approach it, and thanks to Ellen--- I don't have too! So check it out and read her post, I'm excited to see how many other people out there are in the same boat. I always feel like I'm alone in these things, and its nice to know.... I'm not.
Although it doesn't take the wishful thoughts away of having that perfect family, that perfect relationship, there is comfort knowing I am not the only one.
So I will continue to be Daniel's "Cruise Director" (as put by Katy) and Lonnie will continue to be my support, and be Daniel's play mate. Both of which are equally as important.
Now I will pull out my "Cruise Director" hat and see about scheduling in some date nights for the adults!
6 comments:
oh soo true..so very true! thank you for directing us to Ellen and thank you for reminding me, "I'm not the only one feeling this way!"
now, lets cruise! :0)
Hubs and I have definitely been there. I have to force myself to watch TV with him sometimes so we can have a little together time. It's hard though because I'm always worrying about what else needs to be done. Who knew it could be so hard to put down the to-do list?
Gah--sorry Melanie--that's me up there--I was checking the e-mail address I never check and forgot to sign out!
Melanie, thanks for the kind words and the link. This is one of MY favorite blogs. Listen, life is too short for you and your husband not to plan date nights. It may not be easy, but I am sure there is a way. So, I challenge you: set up a date night!!! I wish I could come babysit. Do it, and post about it!
You (and Ellen) are definitely not alone. I think Ellen is secretly living in my house and I don't know it.
I do 75% of the housework. I handle everything relating to Austin and Connor's therapies and medical issues. I handle CSE stuff. I interact with therapists, doctors, insurance. And I do homework with the kids. He plays with themand gives me emotional support when I am stressed. Did I mention I also work full time?
Jeff and I "disagree" often, I couldn't tell you the last time we had sex, but we are a team. I handle everything and he plays with the kids. But I am okay with that. I can only drive so many trucks and play so many video games. There are just things I am better at and things he is better at.
And like Ellen said, though our marriage may not be stronger because of our trials, we are solid and I will never worry about if or when this marriage will end. We will be that old couple walking up the stairs at the train station. I have no doubts.
Date nights don't have to be going out. Put Daniel to bed and make a special dinner just for the two of you. Sit outside and enjoy a drink together. It's really the little moments that make the difference.
I hope things start looking up!
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