Thursday, April 9, 2009

One Of Those WOW Posts

There are times when I go to certain blogs to get a laugh.
Then there are time where I visit others because I know that they walk in the same shoes I do.
Some times I cruise the blogs to see if I can find information on things to help Daniel.
Then there are the times where I read something and it just gets me choked up, feels like a kick in the stomach, and I know what they are feeling.

Here is an excerpt from Rachel's Blog of a post she recently wrote:

These words almost became my mantra… “Thank you, no. This is my life. I need to be able to do this with or without help.”

Then, one day… I crashed and burned.
It’s true.
I couldn’t be strong, not for another minute.
I was curled up, in the fetal position, on the floor of our apartment and I could not stop crying… no it was more like wailing… I couldn’t stop wailing. I called Aaron at work and told him, “You have to come home. I can NOT do this!”

I broke.

I snapped.

I couldn’t imagine one more day, let alone many more years, of being strong AND brave AND responsible AND managing it all. It was just too much.

But I learned something that day, yes, the day that I was completely leveled by the thought of cracking open a can of soup and making a grilled cheese sandwich for Leah, I learned that sometimes you don’t have to be brave or pull up your boots and tromp through the waist deep mud. I learned that sometimes you’ve got to retreat.

Go to a safe place.

Lick your wounds.

Gather your strength.

Not only is there nothing wrong with retreating… it is necessary at times......

I’m not Wonder Woman or Supermom.

I am just me.

And I am sitting here pondering how sweet
sad
fragile
short
and exquisite life is.

Sometimes, I need to be reminded to take my own advice… and retreat.

Check out more of the post over at Rachel's Blog. She is a mom of two very special children, who are very lucky to have her as their mom.
My heart ached for her when I read her post.

But she is so right, how many of us Special Needs Parents brush off the help from others because we feel we need to stand strong and be the "Super Hero" parent?

Sometimes, its ok to be sad, upset, scared of what is coming, of what is happening right now, of the loss of the life you thought you were going to have. So RETREAT! like Rachel says, have your mini-melt down, get your thoughts together and start the next day. But know this, you are NOT alone, and you are NOT a bad person for feelings/thoughts that you have!


6 comments:

Keri said...

Oh my, you have so hit the nail right on the head. I've had these moments and I know I will continue to have more moments. They are inevitable. Comes with the territory that we were given.

Bird said...

Gawd, I retreat all the time. I feel selfish, but this is a hard job I'm doing and sometimes I need a break. I'm not to proud to ask someone else to help me.

blogzilly said...

What an awesome post, by you and also by her. Really well said.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

wow is right. such a perfect expressive post.

Retreat is a definite. But how many end up feeling guilty for thinking of wanting to retreat before they even retreat?..

This was a wonderful post. Thank you!

You both are two very inspiring moms. thank you

AshleyS said...

AMEN to those words!

Monica, James, Connor McGuire said...

Stumbled upon your blog tonight. Truer words have never been spoken. It's defintely easier said than done sometimes, but I need to take care of me to be able to function for him. Great post!