Then there are time where I visit others because I know that they walk in the same shoes I do.
Some times I cruise the blogs to see if I can find information on things to help Daniel.
Then there are the times where I read something and it just gets me choked up, feels like a kick in the stomach, and I know what they are feeling.
Here is an excerpt from Rachel's Blog of a post she recently wrote:
These words almost became my mantra… “Thank you, no. This is my life. I need to be able to do this with or without help.”
Then, one day… I crashed and burned.
I couldn’t be strong, not for another minute.
I was curled up, in the fetal position, on the floor of our apartment and I could not stop crying… no it was more like wailing… I couldn’t stop wailing. I called Aaron at work and told him, “You have to come home. I can NOT do this!”
I couldn’t imagine one more day, let alone many more years, of being strong AND brave AND responsible AND managing it all. It was just too much.
But I learned something that day, yes, the day that I was completely leveled by the thought of cracking open a can of soup and making a grilled cheese sandwich for Leah, I learned that sometimes you don’t have to be brave or pull up your boots and tromp through the waist deep mud. I learned that sometimes you’ve got to retreat.
Go to a safe place.
Lick your wounds.
Gather your strength.
Not only is there nothing wrong with retreating… it is necessary at times......
I’m not Wonder Woman or Supermom.
I am just me.
And I am sitting here pondering how sweet
and exquisite life is.
Sometimes, I need to be reminded to take my own advice… and retreat.
Check out more of the post over at Rachel's Blog. She is a mom of two very special children, who are very lucky to have her as their mom.
My heart ached for her when I read her post.
But she is so right, how many of us Special Needs Parents brush off the help from others because we feel we need to stand strong and be the "Super Hero" parent?
Sometimes, its ok to be sad, upset, scared of what is coming, of what is happening right now, of the loss of the life you thought you were going to have. So RETREAT! like Rachel says, have your mini-melt down, get your thoughts together and start the next day. But know this, you are NOT alone, and you are NOT a bad person for feelings/thoughts that you have!