Ok, so I don't know what planet I've been on for the past year or so, but today something was validated and all I could say was....."OMG!, Really? OMG......no way, What the he!! are you people thinking?!?!"
Me, send my baby off to preschool, 5 days a week? ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME?!?!
So my oldest daughter Ms. C, tells me that yeah when Daniel turns 3 he'll be going to preschool through Early Intervention. I laughed. She said, "No really mom.....he will."
Not in this life time!
So, this week, the teacher and the therapist from EI were at the house for their normal visit and I brought up the subject, and both of them "Oh yeah.....in either of 3 places.....one being right down the street, the other in a different city that is maybe 10-15 minutes away, or one that is 45 minutes away by bus! Did you all catch that? 45 MINUTES?!?!
I am sure that at this point I must have been looking at them like they had their heads cut off.
(I know you guys are laughing at me right now, thinking it comical) I am serious, since I got the confirmation I have been in tears. AND ITS NOT EVEN GOING TO HAPPEN UNTIL NEXT SCHOOL YEAR!
The thought of a school bus pulling up to my house, to take Daniel to school FULL TIME is
NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Yes, I know, I've done it before with my other children......but they were typical children. They could come home and tell me if someone was mean to them, or if they got hit, or what they had for snack, or if they went potty. Daniel can't. He is helpless.....he can't run from the other kids, he can't voice his opinion. I am his legs, and I am his voice, and DAMN IT......I am not ready, nor will I be ready in 8 months. SERIOUSLY.
I know people I've talk to said, well look at all the time you'll have to do what you want to do, or get a part time job......ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HE IS MY LIFE! I DON'T WANT THE TIME TO DO WHAT I WANT. I AM ALREADY DOING WHAT I WANT!
I am such a hypocrite......on one hand I complain that I want people to treat Daniel like a typical child, not a child with special needs. And now I'm saying........WHOA! Hold up here, its too soon.....not my child, he has special needs he can't possibly go to school full time!
I hadn't even begun to think about school.......all I have focused on in the past 2 1/2 years is physically getting Daniel up to speed. NOTHING ABOUT EDUCATION......am I a crappy mom?
I have always assumed that would just come and he'd catch on. And he has. He sorts, he knows his colors, he knows his left from his right (foot) he knows his belly button his eyes his nose.......but he can't talk and he can't get around on his own......
OMG, I think I'm hyperventilating!