I have gone through many different "stages" of accepting and changing what our life is. Some times I blame myself that Daniel has these disabilities because of something I did wrong during my pregnancy, or because I must have sinned really bad and this is how I have to repent. I have gone the route that its just a mix of Lonnie and I and it just didn't come out "right". I have gone the other route that its just a fluke. And sometimes I come back to its my fault he has to fight these horrible things. I blame myself.
But most of the time, if someone came up to me and said "I can make Daniel "normal" but he won't be like the Daniel you know now." I would tell them to forget it. I accept Daniel. I accept that he is different, and I love him for that. There is no way in any way shape or form that I would change, go back in time, fix, redo.....anything with Daniel. I love him beyond the ends of earth, I love him more that I can imagine loving anyone. And I want him to know how proud I am of him, and how wonderful he is and that I would NEVER trade him for anything.
Now, ask me if I accept how society treats people with disabilities.....and we're into a whole other blog! A blog that will allow me to use colorful language that I can't use here! Do I accept how things are difficult for Daniel?....NO. Will I fight to make sure that he has everything and anything that he needs to succeed? Well, sure I will or I wouldn't' be a good parent. Regardless if he had a disability or not, I would do it.
I want people to treat Daniel as if he is a typical child and not give him special treatment because he is different. I do not want people to pity Daniel or his family. I want them to learn from his struggles (and hopefully this blog is helping).
I believe Daniel is here to bless my life. Yes I have other children and I have learned a tremendous amount from them and I still am. But God gave me a child with special needs because he knew that I needed someone to need me...I needed to learn something...I needed to understand. And I have been blessed........with Daniel.
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples ask him, "Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
I guess a little bit of my religous parents rubbed off on me. I knew I loved them for a reason! :)