Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Awesome Husband Award

Sometimes belonging to these special needs yahoo groups can get me down, sometimes they can give me hope, and they always give me support when needed. I have met many people who have traveled the roads we are on and I have also met others that are at that same spot in the road and don't know where to turn. They are like I am, searching for help and for understanding.

Sometimes I forget that I don't need to look towards other parents, but I just need to go to my husband to make me feel better.

I sent him an email at work about being "blah" because of something I had read about another child on a yahoo group. How that child has the same thing as Daniel but seems to be doing so much more and I questioned "WHY does everything have to be so much more difficult for Daniel?" its not fair. (Well life isn't fair for anyone is it).

Anyways- this is the reply I got.

he has an easy time just being himself. what is hard is us trying to make him into something that we decide that he NEEDS to be. i understand that for him to make his way through life that he will need to be able to communicate in some form. i am confident he will (because he already is). he will have to find a way to get around, and i am confident he will be able to in whatever form that is.
everyone has their own gifts. everyone is born with that 'special something' that not everyone gets. some can play guitar, some are crafty, some are book smart, some can act, some can do math, and some can hit a fastball 440FT. then there are those that can bring constant pure joy and happiness to a pretty f'd up world. that is a gift, Melanie. Daniel has THAT gift...(as well as being a smart cookie!). I surely don't possess that ability. He was born with it. It's not something you can teach someone.
sure he can't hit a fastball 440 feet, but i can't either. i can walk....he can't. he can steal your heart with a flutter of his eyelashes...i can't.
bottom line is, he communicates in his own way. he will continue to do this in his own way, whether it is from how we TELL him to do it or whether it is in his own way. either is ok with me.

Now how awesome is that reply?! Sometimes you just have to look to the person you live with. Sometimes I forget I'm not in this alone..


MeghatronsMom said...

That is so amazingly awesome & sweet.

Sometimes I find in my quest to "help" her, I forget to just let her be her & look for her gifts.

Thanks so much for sharing this!

Kristina said...

That brought tears to my eyes. What a fantastic response. Thanks for sharing this - although the email was to you, I feel like it lifted me up, too.

I sometimes question choosing to look at blogs and my yahoo groups. This is especially so when I find a child who I think is similar to Emma and then the child goes and does amazing things at super speed - which makes me so happy to see!. But if Emma isn't keeping up with the child it can make me feel like I'm not doing enough, like I'm missing the boat on something and that maybe Emma just isn't going to go where I want her to go. At those times, it is my husband who makes me see the light. He doesn't compare Emma to anyone - doesn't read blogs, get ideas for new/different therapies, belong to Yahoo groups, etc. He doesn't need to since he sees all he needs in Emma and how she is changing the world a bit one person at a time. Thanks for the reminder of how good a rock my husband can be.

Melanie said...

Kristina- You wrote exactly what I do. I love seeing other kids succeed don't get me wrong but I always say "what else do I need to do to help Daniel" and its not always that I need to help him, I have to look at it as he'll do it when HE wants to do it. When he is ready...and yes my husband is the same as yours, he sees Daniel and see how he is with other people.
I think the researching and feeling like we dont' do enough is a mom trait!?!?!

baby trevor's mommy said...

Oh sheesh...

Thanks, Lonnie. I was holding up so well today too!



Kristina said...

I agree - definitely a Mom trait!!!!!

JSmith5780 said...

What a good man!

I got my b-day crown today from my in-laws! Thanks :)

Adesta said...

Sent from Dear Trevor by Danielle....Just wanted to say that you have a wonderful husband!!!

Oh and...Daniel is very adorable!!!

Katy said...

That made me tear up right here at the computer. I struggle with this as well. . . the fine line between helping your child and enjoying them. And I know exactly what it feel like to be jealous. Charlie is doing better than some, but not as well as others. He's right in the middle, so that gives us plenty of kids who are doing more.