Today while putting Daniel down for a much needed nap, I watched him. I've been nervously lately that he is having some sort of seizures again.
I watched him look around, his eyes getting sleepier and sleepier, the blinking of his eyelids getting slower and staying shut longer and longer. Took him a while to fall asleep, he'd close his eyes and open then again just when I thought he was asleep and he'd smile at me, give a little giggle and close those big beautiful brown eyes again.
We were laying on our sides, face to face....I could smell his milky breath. His arm was slung over my neck because he was patting me on the back, just like I was doing to him. Made me smile, and I thought to myself, that I could stay like this forever. Nice, warm and safe, snuggling in bed.
While Daniel continued to snuggle down into his pillow, I could see he was deep in sleep. He must have been dreaming, as I could see his eyes moving around. R.E.M. And that got me thinking about what Daniel dreams of when he sleeps. Is he happy in his dreams? When he dreams, does he dream of himself walking or in his wheelchair? Does he dream he can talk? Is he able to communicate with people, and can they understand him? Does he dream of himself with a disability or does he dream of himself being a typical little boy? Running around chasing a dog, riding a bike, and playing in the house? Or does he dream of me pushing him in his wheelchair and carrying him everywhere in a world that just doesn't see past his physical disability?
I hope he dreams happy dreams, and knows that regardless of a disability or not, that I love him more than words can express.